Everyday I see an ad for a new weight loss program and diet fad. I hate dieting – but more than that I hate being consumed by my weight and more so, by my overwhelming preoccupation with it. I forgot to mention on my “25 random things about me” that “I have been on a diet for 20 years.” Yes, it’s true. But seriously what woman hasn’t? Even the women who are grossly overweight are still on a diet mentally, because they are comsumed with their bodies. Honestly, I have suffered with eating disorders for as long as I’ve been on diets and while God has really healed me from the emotionally-damaging reasons for my self-abuse, I can’t help but think about EVERYTHING I put – and want to put – in my mouth.
I noticed the other day that I could very comfortably live off of my children’s leftovers. That way I’d actually get a yummy slice of quesedilla and the much needed vitamins and fiber of a carrot stick. I have always considered myself a fan of health food, but when I really sat and thought about it, my kids eat well, I don’t. They have balanced meals, lots of veggies and fruit, while I suck down coffee for breakfast and a bowl of cereal sometime during the day. Seriously, why can’t I just live.
So, I’ve started just eating well, eating appropriate portions and exercising (not killing myself) moderatly 5 times a week. I feel great and my “muffin topper” hanging over my wasteband is minimizing. It just feels good and suprisingly, I’m not consumed by my weight – and while I’m not really living off their leftovers, I do like the little wedge of cheesy goodness they leave behind. Now, with my luck, I’ll probably get pregnant again and gain it all back:)