Forgiveness and Facebook

I have to say I’m not very good at forgiving people – ask my husband. It is extremely hard for me to let go of things – sometimes even regardless of the apology offered. I’m also not very proud of that fact, at all. This brings me to the large dose of humble pie I’ve had to eat lately – a few servings really. I am a big fan of Facebook and while I HATE phone communication, I love keeping in touch. Facebook gives me that opportunity. Whether with current friends or old, I’m able to maintain/renew friendships in a meaningful way that I’m not disciplined enough to do without it.

Three such friendships have humbled me (and righfully so) and taught me so much about who I was, am and hope to be.

        1. Ex-fiance

        2. Former, almost completely platonic, emotionally exhausting, wonderfully fulfilling, foggy memories, nightly dinner companion and high school friend. (I could go on, but I’ll spare you)

        3. Best friend from high school

 

1. I actually had my ex-fiance approach me on Facebook and apologize for our “debacle.” On top of the surprised blessing, he was most humble and, I must admit, not at all entirely to blame.  It was nice to make smooth the past, but was glad I could move on knowing we are both happily married. When the chat box popped up last night with his picture, I froze – crap! It ended up being a nice chat about books, philosophy and the passing of his grandpa without even a hint of bitterness. It was nice to talk as friends, something I don’t think we really had before as we never made it down the aisle.

2. Well, it’s hard to know where to begin. We both fell for each other, but I refused to give in and instead emotionally tortured (not consciously) him for years. Instead of enjoying more than friendship, I decided instead to flaunt boyfriends and hate his girlfriends – at this point in my life I fail to see the logic. But, there were apparently enough good times in our friendship for him to contact me via Facebook. We talked, I apologized, clarified and we both confessed and enjoy the road we chose – again, both of us very happily married. But again, I had to come to terms with who I was and what I did and again, eat crow. It’s so hard to see what you were really like, opposed to the stellar vision I deceived myself with. But, what is sweet is being able to chat about life without hurting one another and knowing all is mercifully forgiven.

3. After 15 years of silence we hooked up through the internet and even visited eachother last year. While chatting last night on Facebook, she bluntly, but kindly (she has that amazing ability) confronted me about my treatment of her as a friend. In my last year of high school I really began walking with the Lord and my first action was to ditch all my non-saved friends. Seemed prudent at the time and so aweful now. I had to ask for forgiveness, which she said she had give me years ago, before I even asked. Why had divorcing her for the church seemed godly? I really can’t answer that, but after facing these giants of my past, I’m sure there will be many more servings of humble pie on the menu.

Someone once said, “You can humble yourself or let God humilate you.” Soooo there right now. Will have to work on forgiveness skills – have been given so much mercy.