Relateable Me

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Perfectionism is an Illusion…so is control April 23, 2009

Filed under: Confessions,friendship — relateableme @ 3:03 am

I had a wonderful conversation with a friend today. We actually don’t know each other that well, but I hope that will change. We started talking about our mutual interests: God and writing. It branched into a very real conversation about out faults, hurts, recoveries, misunderstandings, sins and victories. I love that when people share a genuine interest in Christ, a transparent conversation is completely possible. Without the reality of our complete inability to do/be anything/anyone outside of Christ, a conversation will typically range within the boundaries of what we want that other person to think of us. Without grace, we are two people hoping to dupe the other, and ourselves in the process.

In the course of talking and refereeing my kids, we came to three conclusions: 1. grace is for losers (BTW, that’s all of us) 2. perfectionism is an illusion  3. so is control

Not mind-blowing unless you are a control-freakish perfectionist (I’m raising my hand). But I’m also learning that embracing these truths is incredibly freeing – I’m getting there, by His grace.

 

Forgiveness and Facebook February 26, 2009

Filed under: Confessions,friendship — relateableme @ 3:30 am
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I have to say I’m not very good at forgiving people – ask my husband. It is extremely hard for me to let go of things – sometimes even regardless of the apology offered. I’m also not very proud of that fact, at all. This brings me to the large dose of humble pie I’ve had to eat lately – a few servings really. I am a big fan of Facebook and while I HATE phone communication, I love keeping in touch. Facebook gives me that opportunity. Whether with current friends or old, I’m able to maintain/renew friendships in a meaningful way that I’m not disciplined enough to do without it.

Three such friendships have humbled me (and righfully so) and taught me so much about who I was, am and hope to be.

        1. Ex-fiance

        2. Former, almost completely platonic, emotionally exhausting, wonderfully fulfilling, foggy memories, nightly dinner companion and high school friend. (I could go on, but I’ll spare you)

        3. Best friend from high school

 

1. I actually had my ex-fiance approach me on Facebook and apologize for our “debacle.” On top of the surprised blessing, he was most humble and, I must admit, not at all entirely to blame.  It was nice to make smooth the past, but was glad I could move on knowing we are both happily married. When the chat box popped up last night with his picture, I froze – crap! It ended up being a nice chat about books, philosophy and the passing of his grandpa without even a hint of bitterness. It was nice to talk as friends, something I don’t think we really had before as we never made it down the aisle.

2. Well, it’s hard to know where to begin. We both fell for each other, but I refused to give in and instead emotionally tortured (not consciously) him for years. Instead of enjoying more than friendship, I decided instead to flaunt boyfriends and hate his girlfriends – at this point in my life I fail to see the logic. But, there were apparently enough good times in our friendship for him to contact me via Facebook. We talked, I apologized, clarified and we both confessed and enjoy the road we chose – again, both of us very happily married. But again, I had to come to terms with who I was and what I did and again, eat crow. It’s so hard to see what you were really like, opposed to the stellar vision I deceived myself with. But, what is sweet is being able to chat about life without hurting one another and knowing all is mercifully forgiven.

3. After 15 years of silence we hooked up through the internet and even visited eachother last year. While chatting last night on Facebook, she bluntly, but kindly (she has that amazing ability) confronted me about my treatment of her as a friend. In my last year of high school I really began walking with the Lord and my first action was to ditch all my non-saved friends. Seemed prudent at the time and so aweful now. I had to ask for forgiveness, which she said she had give me years ago, before I even asked. Why had divorcing her for the church seemed godly? I really can’t answer that, but after facing these giants of my past, I’m sure there will be many more servings of humble pie on the menu.

Someone once said, “You can humble yourself or let God humilate you.” Soooo there right now. Will have to work on forgiveness skills – have been given so much mercy.

 

Wednesday’s Encounter November 8, 2008

Filed under: friendship — relateableme @ 6:12 am

On Wednesday I had the most amazing day connecting with two of my dearest friends. I have many friends, but there are few people who I really connect with on every level that’s dear to me: spiritually and creatively.

My dear friend Maria is a Greek beauty raised half her life in Greece with a story that will amaze you. She is free and creative and fun and carries a tremendous testamony of God’s healing. She is my escape and a chance to step out of Southern California into a world of poetry and foreign films. She is almost half my age, but never makes me feel old.

Aryn is a free-spirited, eccentric woman of God who thinks in a way I’ve never imagined. She is full of surprises, but never shocking – liberated, but strong enough to submit – non-comforming, without being offensive and has devoted her life to loving people to God.

These worlds collided a few years ago and I can’t imagine being more blessed nor amazed at God’s work. Aryn fell in love with Maria’s Cretan village a few years ago and planned to minister there only to be introduced to her, by me a few years later. I  knew nothing of Aryn’s heart for her hometown. Of all the villages in the world and all the prayers Maria lifted up for her town, God has brought an answer that I get to be a part of.

We talked about God and loving people vs. political statements and soap boxes. We talked about life and God’s direction. It was a meeting of spirits that I can’t wait to relive.