Relateable Me

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God and The Invention of Lying April 22, 2010

Filed under: Random nonsense,Uncategorized — relateableme @ 10:40 pm
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Last night I saw the movie The Invention of Lying. It wasn’t what I expected and it gave me a surprising bit to think about. The basic plot is that humans haven’t evolved to the point of lying; everyone tells the truth, all the time – brutally and honestly. In a moment of desperation, the main character develops the ability to lie and is able to get, through deception,  much of what was lacking in his life. There is a twist when his mother, terrified of  eternal nothingness, is dying and he “lies” to here about the existence of heaven. This is compounded when this conversation is overheard and people demand to know what he knows. He basically “creates” his own system of morality to make humans acceptable to God – “The Man in the Sky.”

What is interesting is that, while the human race now had a hope concerning the afterlife, it made little difference in the way they lived. I could only assume that this is how the writer of the screenplay views religion: a list of rules made by a detached deity.  If we have no relationship with God, than what He asks of us is nothing more than a list of rules that seem like nothing more than fickle, non-nonsensical dictates. God intends it to be understood in the complete opposite way. God protects us through His commands once we are brought into a relationship with Him, not to earn heaven, but to refine us along the way.

I wonder what influences the writer has had, spiritually speaking. What ugly message has he heard? Why is His view of God so skewed? I have observed that in the effort to “defend” Christianity, believers have made the Gospel very unappealing and have cloaked it in false righteousness: it’s your works that save you and you must maintain the outwards appearance of godliness by abstaining from everything. Very ugly, very untrue. It’s amazing how completely freeing the truth actually is and how tainted it’s become.


PMS and the Eternal Excuse April 10, 2010

Filed under: Random nonsense — relateableme @ 10:15 pm
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I realize that this excuse is old – it was probably old 1000 years ago when men gladly ran off to war to escape the more frightening moodiness of their brides.  It’s old, but seriously valid. My PMS gets increasingly worse and I’m left to wonder if it’s the result of three things: age, lifestyle choices or mental instability.

1. Age:

I’m turning 36 this month and am thrilled. Not really, I hate getting older and can’t believe when women say they love their 30’s – as far as I’m concerned, they suck. Each month I get moodier and more delusional and wonder if within 10 years I’ll be carted off in handcuffs around the 30th day of some future random July.  I also wonder if I should swallow the $200 and get my blood work done and hormone levels tested and have some super-deluxe hormone cream developed for me – and all of mankind I come in contact with over that 10 day period of instability. Better yet, I could wait for the government to pay for it, as I could be considered a menace to society. Not only am I a wreck, but it lasts longer. What happened to 4 day periods? For the record, I do realize that there are pharmaceuticals  out there to help me, but I refuse to pollute my body with unnatural methods, so I’m on the lookout for organic solutions.

2.  Lifestyle Choices:

I’m a vegetarian/lactose intolerant, yoga loving, non-smoking, beer drinking and a fairly health-minded individual. I am wondering if the infusion of soy products in my diet is increasing my estrogen levels contributing to the madness.  I can’t afford to eat all organics and I live in an urban area surrounded by nature – perhaps not enough nature. So, not sure what else I can change there.

3. Mental Instability:

In all fairness to the other two category contenders, I have often imagined myself growing old in an asylum someday. I’m not stark raving mad, just melancholy by nature and am prone to fits of depression. As women are not known for violent crimes, it is not unheard of for us to make rash and miscalculated decisions and I do wonder if those who do commit them are PMS-ing at the time. The thoughts that run rampant through my head while under the influence of hormones are outrageous, yet at the time they seem completely justifiable and sane. It’s so bizarre to wake up the morning after the PMS-ing has ended and think,  “Dear God, I almost…”

So while I agree that the excuse is overused, it may be plausible 75% of the time. I have to change something, and fast. I have only 20 days of sanity on the horizon before my other, delusional self makes an entrance.


A Mommy Moment April 1, 2010

Filed under: Random nonsense — relateableme @ 11:54 pm

I had an amazing mom moment the other night. Let me preface this with the fact that I love my sleep – it is very precious to me and that was a huge factor in not having more kids. It might sound selfish, but seriously, I know my limitations. I used to lose it when my kids would wake me in the night. That was my time, the only thing I had left to claim as my own – all of me was occupied by something/someone else.

The other night my son woke me up about 12:30 AM with a bloody nose. I was in a fog, but took him to the bathroom to clean up. I asked him if he wanted me so sleep with him. We squeezed into his single bed, on the bottom bunk and proceeded to spend a very uncomfortable, but wonderful night. I loved being close to him and sharing those quiet moments.

When we woke up in the morning, he lifted his head and his sleepy eyes opened in sheer delight, like Christmas morning in a smile. He was delighted to see me. It melted my to see him, all happiness and little ears and have him nuzzle his head close to mine. To wake up and feel such acceptance and know someone took such sweet pleasure in my company was a treasure.


God’s Will Pt. 2 January 27, 2010

Filed under: Random nonsense — relateableme @ 2:44 am
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To dovetail off of what I wrote a bit ago concerning Sarah Palin, this Sunday my pastor taught a great message regarding the 3rd Commanment. He discussed using the Lord’s name in vain. Of course there are the obvious examples – cursing, but he brought up a great point that I have never considered or heard taught. He said that ” Taking the Lord name is vain, it using His name for your gain.” Basically saying “God’s will” to things that are clearly your own. This is what brought me back to Palin’s tendency to bring “God’s will” into everything she does – or anyone else for that matter.

It doesn’t have to be just the religious right, it can goes for those supporting the Jihad as “God’s will.” Great evils have always been done in His precious name without His consent. Anyone heard of the Crusades?

Also I got to thinking that the reverse of this can also be considered taking His name in vain; giving God blame for evil that is done. That is equally as prevalent as the former and perhaps even more so. God gets blamed for great ills of the world but never receives credit for its great blessings.

What can be most frustrating about God being brought into everything is that the end of everything is brought to light. Whether it was His will or not, the end result is eventually revealed. Then the damage doubles and the confusion widens as people begin to questions whether God leads us into pain and suffering and what kind of God would do that. Then people shake their fists at the Almighty when all along it was their fervent willingness to jump head first into trouble and then have the audacity to make God their scapegoat.

Yes, there is evil in the world and a great percentage of it is caused by you and me. So next time you decide to build a pipeline in Alaska or go to war, leave God out of it, please.


January 14, 2010

Filed under: Random nonsense — relateableme @ 5:57 am

I spent the last day in a half staying with my grandma on a mini-vacation. I’ve always loved going to my grandma’s house; it’s like a museum, but one that is warm and fuzzy. Grandma is completely eclectic and I like knowing who I got it from. She never baked cookies with me or taught me to knit, but she would take me boogie boarding and tried (unsuccessfully) to teach me to burp at will. I remember her lathering herself in turtle oil as we’d sit on the beach and I envied her ability to tan. She is more Danish that I am and she gets this amazing tan, when not even my Sicilian side can help me in that area. Grandma loves to have fun and belongs to just about every club within her reach: Optimist, Coronado Garden Club, a number of Bridge clubs, PEO, Golf Club and who knows how many others.

She always reads the last chapter of a book first and can never remember the title of a movie she saw five minutes ago. She is fun and she knows it.

Three years ago my grandfather passed away and believe me, it’s compeltely untrue that “you can’t take it with you,” because a large part of her left when he did. She keeps herself busy but in quiet moments you can see her shoulders sag and her eyes water. “Grandma, what do you miss most about him,” I asked last night over a game of Gin Rummy. “Hmm. Everything,” she replied. I got choked up and had to agree. You can’t pinpoint what it was specifically, it was truly “everything.” ” What was the hardest part about being married to him,” I asked fearing I was going to far. “Never being right. It wasn’t that, but the fact that it didn’t matter if I was right, he gave his opinion and the case was closed.” “Did it drive you nuts?” “Ah, well, I got over it, it didn’t really matter,” she said as if it really didn’t matter. This of course was hard for me to imagine, but somehow I believed her.

“Did you like being a Navy wife? Was it hard when he was gone all the time and you had to keep yourself busy or did you like the freedom?” I was on a role now and not just asking random questions, but I wanted to know how the women I came from felt about life. “I never thought about it. I just did what I had to do.”

I had heard this before, but not from my mother’s generation or anyone since. I had heard it from women who knew how hard life was, simply because it was simply life. “Grandma, no one in my generation thinks that way. We don’t do things for the good of those around us, we do things if they’re good for us.” I said this matter of factly, but with shame. I love my husband, but “doing what I have to do” gets old and then…  I think the difference between my grandma’s generation and mine,  or more specifically my grandma and me is that there is no …  It’s just part of, or a fact of life for her and for me it’s an unnecessary irritation that I can do without. Not to say that there were never moments for grandma when she’d had it, but she didn’t try to escape them, they were expected and even after 62 years of marriage to a man who was always right, she still misses EVERYTHING about him.


Shakespeare for seven year olds January 12, 2010

Filed under: Random nonsense,Uncategorized — relateableme @ 4:31 am

I was in the car listening to Taylor Swift today when the song “Love Story” came on. My daughter was in the back belting out the lyrics and then stopped and asked me what she was singing about. You have to understand that my daughter asks LITERALLY 1000 questions a day – which I’m learning to love about her  – when she’s not driving me nuts:) Anyway, I told her the story about Romeo and Juliet and she got quiet and then asked, “why would anyone write something so sad?” I had to laugh because why indeed? That made me think about human nature and how we recoil from our own suffering, but indulge in that of others.  I love sad stuff – I’m totally morbid that way, i just feel comfortable there, which honestly is not a healthy thing for me. Anyway, I didn’t really have an answer.

Later my niece was in the car with us and Mary asked for the same song again. I heard her explaining Shakespeare’s tragedy to her. She was so animated and in its telling. I piped up and told her that Swift’s song had a happy ending though. “Oh GOOD!” she gasped, “because that was just terrible.”  I love how she sees the world.


Sarah Palin and “God’s Will” January 11, 2010

Filed under: Random nonsense — relateableme @ 10:10 pm
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I’m not politically minded at all. I am a one issue voter and really hate being tied to a party – one party – or more often than not – any party. I’m an anomaly in my family who are all flag waving Republicans. Anyways, something Sarah Palin said recently caught my eye. Actually it’s a phrase that she repeats often and I can’t help but wonder how it is received by people who only think they know what she’s talking about: God’s Will.  She has used this lingo concerning the War with Iraq, her wish to run for office and the Alaskan Pipeline. There have probably been more, but a brief Google brought these up. As a believer, I understand the terminology for my life, but when used as a blanket statement for world-wide events, I cringe as a Believer and the unbelieving world finds it repugnant.

To say that the war in Iraq is “God’s will” conjures up a picture of Jesus carrying an AK47, wearing an Armani suit, having an expensive dinner with oil tycoon friends and casually waving his hand while considering the civil deaths in Iraq as “collateral damage.” This is not the Christ who I know nor how I want the rest of the world to perceive Him. I have no idea whether it is God’s will for Palin to run for political office – but more importantly, does she?

God’s will has come to be synonymous with a feeling or hunch and has been used to justify the most heinous events; Christians in pre-WWII Germany thought that Hitler’s rise to power was “God’s will” and the Crusades were a result of a similar hunch.  I had a friend tell me recently that “Katrina was God’s will. His way of wiping out an evil place.” I wanted to vomit. To say that the war in Iraq is God’s will because it will help usher in the last days, is to tread on rather unsupported theological ice – plus it leaves a unbelieving world scratching their heads. If God’s will is reduced to nothing more than a warm-fuzzy, a burning in the bosom or a logical conclusion considering circumstantial evidence in our own lives, then if can lead us to justify things that are clearly not His will. I can say it’s God’s will to leave my husband simply because I have feelings toward someone else and the circumstances appear to be leading me that way. God’s will can eventually be anything I want – anything I want.

Should politicians use the phrase? Sure, but make sure it’s being used in a way that is extremely personal and does not include every third world and Arab country. Make sure it’s in regards to a personal decision or stand, don’t use it as a way to justify hypocrisy, because that’s what makes an unbelieving world hate the very concept of a will other than their own.